| I'll be watching shooting stars *** |
[06 Aug 2004|01:37am] |
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The Bologna song. |
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"Narcissistic: While you seem perfectly nice at first, the moment you reveal your true colors, other people mostly wish you'll be hit by a car. You're in serious need of a reality check. If people want to be your friend, they sure as hell better live up to your standards, which are so impossible to match, that you will probably die a bitter, lonely old hag. Haha."
I found that funny.
My heart is still broken.
I found out in the past week within two days that two of my friends like me, "like that."
Tony is leaving on the 15th for college.
My brother is leaving Sept. 5th. One more month, kids.
I'm scared. Really scared.
Pawel needs to sleep more often. I'm surprised he's not dead yet. He needs to get more blood in his caffeine stream.
Working at the Mind is probably not a healthy thing for Pawel.
I love my friends.
I love making new friends and sharing good times with old friends.
I'm gonna miss everyone going off to college. Most of them anyway.
Memories. Sweet memories.
Photographs. Lots of photographs.
you're making me a believer, you're fortifying my soul on a stone.
Is it me or is this a really odd post?
Guys and Dolls is going well.
I've become more of a mall rat than ever. Go me.
I haven't had a boyfriend in quite some time now.
I'm waiting for a letter from Dan. I hope I get one soon-ish.
I hope Ryan feels better soon.
I think I need to lose some weight.
I'm a very odd person.
I'm also really loud.
And I can be quite obnoxious.
Hah, yes. Okay, I think this post is pretty much over now.
One Final Thought:
JennMurray loves Daniellah!<33
Better late than nEvEr
[EDIT/]
1:45Am.
GOOD NEWS!
RYAN'S STOPPING COCAINE FOR ME!!!
You don't know how happy that makes me.
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| I still suck. |
[16 May 2004|05:58pm] |
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"In the Shadows" - The Rasmus |
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Yup, still suck at updating. So shoot me, okay? I have auditions for the play Guys and Dolls tonight and tomorrow. ::Excitement::
I jsut thought this would be fun . . .
On your current playlist, hit shuffle and pick the first twenty songs on the list (no matter how cheesy or embarrassing), and write down your favorite line(s) of the song. Try to avoid putting the song title in the line. Then, have your friends comment and see if they know the songs
here goes....
1. Mobile home good, Tornado bad. Grandma good, tongue kiss bad . . .
2. I think about all the time, I see you in my dreams . . .
3. They said, "Hey you! You're lookin' very suspicious." I said, "Relax, man, get off my back."
4. I sure wouldn't mind hittin' that from the back
5. Don't try to fight the feelin' coz the thought alone is killin' me right now . . .
6. Won't you kiss me once, oh baby, just to kiss goodnight, and maybe you and I will fall in love . . .
7. He grabbed a brick and swung at my head . . .
8. The man will risk his life to bring you eggrolls . . .
9. We're just two lost souls swimmin' in a fish bowl, year after year . . .
10. I'll tell you now you can't win this, you're way to slow . . .
11. The moon hangs like the blade of an axe tonight, and it's poised to drop anytime . . .
12. When I'm around you my words jsut melt . . .
13. Her little brother's jsut a tot, but he just tried to sell me pot . . .
14. Suddenly a giant chicken shit hit him right in the eye! Their beaks were black and shiny, their eyes were burning red; They had no meat or feathers, these chickens were dead . . .
15. Even new wine served in old skins will cheapen the taste . . .
16. I hope you know I'm wondering where you are You say this could work someday when youc an I both know this is the end Excuse my poor excuse . . .
17. Come down and waste away with me . . .
18. No tell tale heart was left to cry . . .
19. Die young and save yourself . . .
20. I won't stop until I find a cure for this cancer . . .
I wonder how many people will get a majority of these right. They're so random. heh. anyways, later. Sorry for the lack of cool updating. I suck.
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| ishbrisuytty |
[11 Apr 2004|01:57pm] |
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Ja Rule hahaha |
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I need to actually update this, instead of leaving it with the same journal entry for a month at a time. Sorry about that kiddos.
But now I'm back! Maybe Ill try to update this more.
Anyways, not much has been going on.
It's Easter, so Happy Easter to everyone.
I got a haircut on Friday. And I have many many pictures from previous months to post, so maybe I will make a few picture posts, or one gigantic one.
Gotta love having a server to host my pictures on. hah, right.
I've been having depression problems again, and I've fallen in even more love with one of my best friends. But I can't have him, because that's just how it has to be. For the time being at least.
Meeep.
He's so perfect to me. He is the kind of person that makes you smile. He is a hilarious person and he has good character. I can talk to him about anything, and I know it. I love being so close to him though. It's an odd situation and nothing's changing. And right now, I like the position we are in, although I owuld like to be his girlfriend, we're close as it is.
And omg, he gives the best hugs. He said the worst thing about me was that everytime he started hugging me, he never wanted to stop. He's so cute. We were sitting on my couch and I was giving him a hug and after like 2 minutes of silence he was like, "That's the worst thing about you." I was like, "What?" And he was like, "Everytime I start hugging you, I never want to stop."
And he gives me little kisses on the forehead or on the cheek all the time. I love him.
AHH DAMNIT BEFORE I GO OFF ON ANOTHER TANGENT, I'M GONNA SHUT UP AND LEAVE. I'll try to update more. Meeeeeep.
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| Happy bday |
[11 Mar 2004|03:53pm] |
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"Every Reason To" - FATA |
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY to BENJI AND JOEL MADDEN! Word.
Sorry I haven't been around to update. Heh. Righto.
The Mest concert was wonderful. I ended up being pushed to front row. Dynamite Boty, Matchbook Romance, and Fall Out Boy were also wonderful. =)
I'll try to update sometime. Sorry guys. I know you missed me.
It's nice weather outside. Go outside. Now. Do it.
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[28 Feb 2004|04:07pm] |
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"Back Up Against the Wall" - Rancid |
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© show some heart ©
| | | | | | | Self-Injury: You are NOT the only one. |
Monday, March 1, 2004 is SI Awareness Day.
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| My Last Serenade |
[09 Feb 2004|11:33pm] |
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Bury me softly in this womb
I give this part of me for you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Holding rare flowers
In a tomb...in bloom
Would you save me if they tried to put me six feet under? I feel like everytime I do something I end up digging myself down into a little hole. Everytime I get a little deeper and it's going to get harder to escape.
Down in a hole and I don't know if I can be saved
See my heart I decorate it like a grave
You don't understand who they
Thought I was supposed to be
Look at me now a man
Who won't let himself be
I can't let myself be because everything I do is wrong. They expect me to be something that I'm not. Write you in my heart like a tombstone. WRite your name and your deathdate. I won't be saved. The only one who can save me will reject my heart. You don't understand how ahrd it is to life my life day to day knowing that I can't live up to their standards.
Down in a hole, feelin' so small
Down in a hole, losin' my soul
I'd like to fly,
But my wings have been so denied
I've been denied of my right to be myself. Of the right to spread my wings and fly away. I wan't to get away from the dreadfulness of society, but I've been pinned down because I've been denied my flight.
Down in a hole and they've put all
The stones in their place
I've eaten the sun so my tongue
Has been burned of the taste
I have been guilty
Of kicking myself in the teeth
I will speak no more
of my feelings beneath
Everytime I say soemthing, it's like I get shut back. It's like I've done something wrong. I can never be right. I'm always wrong. I shouldn't talk anymore because I will never be right. Everyone else frowns upon me when I speak my mind. The way I think isn't right. My opinion is wrong.
Down in a hole, feelin' so small
Down in a hole, losin' my soul
I'd like to fly but my
Wings have been so denied
I can't fly away from the pain and leave it down her. They've trimmed my wings. I'm stuck on the ground. Someone left me and take me away. I've lost my sould because they've taken it form me. I'm stuck in a hole, please dig me out.
Bury me softly in this womb
Oh I want to be inside of you
I give this part of me for you
Oh I want to be inside of you
Sand rains down and here I sit
Holding rare flowers (Oh I want to be inside of you)
In a tomb...in bloom
Oh I want to be inside...
I want to give you my heart, but you reject it. It falls to the ground and shatters into a million pieces. I was put into a grave. I want this part of my heart to be inside of you. But you don't love me. You gave me flowers as an apology for hurting me. My heart logns to be with you.
Down in a hole, feelin' so small
Down in a hole, losin' my soul
Down in a hole, feelin' so small
Down in a hole, outta control
I'd like to fly but my
Wings have been so denied
I feel so small and worthless. They took my soul away and clipped my wings. Slip me a secret ksis, i long to give you my heart. Please help me out of this hole and take me away. I can't fly myself because my ability to fly has been taken away. I've dug myself into a hole to deep. Been buried up to my neck and I can't escape.
Copywritten © Jenn's Jaded Killer Dreams and Acid Tears 2004
Song by Alice in Chains.
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| That's about the level I'm at... |
[05 Feb 2004|03:56pm] |
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"I Miss You" - Incubus |
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*runs into a wall and knocks herself out*
Would you save me?
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| A tire... Just hit that lady.. IN THE FACE!!! |
[17 Jan 2004|02:31pm] |
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"Dance In Misery" - AFi |
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AHHHH!! YOU! I HAVEN'T UPDATED THIS SHIT IN A LONG TIME! Whoops. Sorry kids. I know you've probably been hanging by your fingernails waiting to find out what the hell is going on in the life of me.
Well too bad. Because I don't have much to say. Well i do but I don't feel like writing much.
Here:
My brother killed MY computer. He was installing the wirless internet card so I could put the damn thing in my room and it just died. Fucker. He has to get it fixed. Let's hope he does.
I might go see Mest on Feb. 29th in Boston. I was supposed to go see Simple Plan and MxPx but the show's sold out. Bastard.
Erm.. not much else to say.
I'm a boring loser, I know.
Oh yeah my brother got a new drumset. I want to go play it. Now. aha. yeahh.. my dad wouldn;'t let me.
My brother's laptop is the shit. I want one.
Motherfuckers. I'm done.
-Vicious.
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| Bored as hell... |
[31 Dec 2003|01:12pm] |
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"The Day That I Die" - Good Charlotte |
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THREE THINGS I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO EVER:
1. my dad. he can be an ass sometimes.
2. guys talking about the number of girls they fucked
3. people bragging
THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST:
1. FUCK
2. uhhh....
3. ___-ish *i add ish to the end of everything*
THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITE FOODS:
1. pizza
2. speghetti
3. Lucky Charms
THREE THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN:
1. how to play guitar.. I mean I play but I wanna learn notes and chords. I cheat and jsut use tabs... *embarrassed face*
2. make a ring out of a dollar bill.
3. -- I forgot what I was gonna put here...
THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:
1. some kind of soda
2. chocolate milk
3. sunny delight and/or capri sun
THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
1. lambchops
2. sesame street
3. barney
1. Spell your first name backwards - suoiciV or nneJ or refinneJ
2. The story behind your lj user name - the first/early version of "Say Anything" by Good Charlotte was named time after time. And uhm. time after time things happen to me I guess. *shrugs*. :).
3. Are you homosexual - Nope. But I have nothing against them. I have friends that are gay, but that's just not me.
DESCRIBE YOUR
[ x ] Wallet - It's a chain wallet. And it's hot pink and it has light blue, yellow, lime green, a purply-blue color, and silver stars on it. It's sexxy.
[ x ] Hairbrush - light purple
[ x ] Toothbrush - purple and white.
[ x ] Jewelry worn daily - bracelet Abbie made me that is lime green, dark blue, orange, black, light blue, and pink, the red and white bracelet I made (I call it the candy-cane bracelet=D), my rose gold watch my grandparents got me (I need to get one thats not so.. expensive so I don't ruin it), my blue and hot pink rubber jellie bracelets, my hot pink, yellow, green, and blue beaded bracelet I made with yarn (haha), and the bracelet with green beads and a red star that Maggie made me, one dark blue hairtie, a light blue one, a black one, another light blue one, and then a lighter blue one. that's on my left arm. My right arm I wear a black harite, then a white one, then a bright neon orange one, and then a purple one, and then a crapload of jellie/rubber bracelets. (Note: I can't wear all of my bracelets anymore. I have too many lol.) And I wear necklaces and I Always wear my lock and chain one, and I wear my gold ring my rents gave me, my calada(sp?) ring from my bday, my brother's ring, and my celtic rings. (I'm a mutt, but I have a lot of Irish in me.. heh. I'm a mutt. that sounds funny...)
[ x ] Pillow cover - uhh, two are black and one is like pink. It was orange, but it faded.
[ x ] Blanket - well, one's light blue and velvety, my first comforter is a light blue on one side and the other side is like plaid and it's rainbow-ish. My newest one is dark blue and it has moons and planets and stars on it. I redid my room but I kept my blankets even though they match what my room used to look like lol. And my sheets are black.
[ x ] Coffee cup - the one I got in Florida that says "Jennifer" on it and it has lego guys all over it.
[ x ] Sunglasses - silver with blue lenses. hahaha. I like my friend Pawel's better.
[ x ] Underwear - I have about a million pairs of underwear.
[ x ] Favorite shirt - I don't know, I can't decide on a favorite. But I really like band shirts. =D Hell I like all my shirts. I don't have a favorite.
[ x ] Cologne/Perfume - I don't know. I like In the Rain and the new one I have.. and for colgne. Very Sexy for men from Vicky's Secret. MMMMM lol. And damnit, everyone always wears that Ambercrombie shit and even though I hate that store the guys cologne smells good. THERE I SAID IT! HAPPY?!
[ x ] CD in stereo right now - In my stereo in my room.. uhhh.. A mix, Story of the Year, and Simeple Plan. in my computer is The Young and the Hopeless (GC)...
[ x ] Tattoos - none.. yet...
[ x ] Piercings - 3 holes per ear.. I'm getting more piercings, but my rents won't let me get anymore right now.
[ x ] What you are wearing now - black tanktop, and my new velvety-pajama bottomes with clouds and ooons and stars on them and I have a towel on my head.
WHO or WHAT (was/is/are)
[ x ] In my mouth - my tongue, my teeth, braces.
[ x ] In my head - my brain...
[ x ] Wishing - I knew how to play my guitar like I had been playing all my life.
[ x ] After this - dry my hair, get dressed, eat lucky charms.
[ x ] Fetishes - That's for me to know and you to find out... IM me if you really wanna know. I don't feel like typing it here...=)*wink wink*
[ x ] If you could get away with it and murder anyone, and for what reason - rid the world of stupid people... and this girl that I dislike to the highest degree.
[ x ] Person you wish you could see right now - No comment.
[ x ] Is next to you - papers, magazines, guitar cord, CDs, my Dickies trucker hat, paper, my brothers printer for his laptop, his guitar, my keyboard, his chimes for his drumset, my guitar and drumsticks and a box and uhm on te other side a box full of cords and compuers games and other boxes and then there' a power strip and a mess of cords. theres also a stool next to me and the radiator is kinda next to me too.
[ x ] Some of your favorite movies - THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS!!!, Not Another Teen Movie, Pirates of the Caribbean, Finding Nemo... Gothika. The ring.. there are others too...
[ x ] Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming month - I don't know.
[ x ] The last thing you ate - last night at like 230AM a poptart or Chex Mix. I had both, I don't remember which was the last.
[ x ] Something that you are deathly afraid of - being alone. although someimtes I jsut want to be alone. Very contradictory, I know. And I'm also scared of not being able to do what I want with my life.
[ x ] Do you like candles - yes
[ x ] Do you like incense - of course
[ x ] Do you like the taste of blood - yup. HAHAHA. kinda vampirey. sorry.
[ x ] Do you believe in love - Oh yes.
[ x ] Do you believe in soul mates - definetly
[ x ] Do you believe in love at first sight - lust maybe. I don't know about love... *shrugs* it may be possible.
[ x ] Do you believe in Heaven - kinda.
[ x ] Do you believe in God - kinda. I'ma weirdo! What do you expect?
[ x ] Who is your worst enemy - I am my own worst enemy.
[ x ] If you could have any animal for a pet, what would it be - a monkey. one of those cute little ones that are black with the white around their face. and a dog. I WANT A FUCKING DOG DAMNIT.
[ x ] What is the latest you've ever stayed up - all night...
[ x ] Can you eat with chopsticks - when I want to. sometimes...
[ x ] What's your favorite coin - shiney quarters are cool.
[ x ] What's something that you wish people would understand - that they really don't understand me like they think they do.
[ x ] What's something you wish you could understand better - how some peoples brains work... and myself sometimes if I don't understand somehting I did.
[ x ] Who is someone that you really wish was still around - Ambur.. lives down in PA. Damnit.
-Anyways, on with the update. Sorry for flipping out last entry. Wait. Why am I apologizing? My journal! Anyways, I might make this friends only. I don't know yet. hmmmph..
I hope you all have a good new year. Don't get too drunk;). And if you do, take some Chasers so your hangover is gone for most of the day. haha. The things people make these days.
Anyways. This year wasn't as bad as I thought, now that I think about it. Just the fact that my dad doesn't understand me and it pisses me off. Neither does the rest of my family but they don't make stupid comments like my father. But uh, other than that nothing too bad. Well, there were a few bad points. My great aunt died and stuff. My bird died Dec. 26th. *tear,tear*. But I went to two GC concerts, one being in April, the other in October. That was exciting. Sometime, I will post the best things and the worst things of 2003. Prolly wont be up until someimte in January though.
I think I ahve A.D.H.D and I think I'm Bipolar...
Anyways.. Happy New Year. Thanks to those who have been there for me through this year, means a lot to me. Have a safe new year guys, I couldn't live without you people. Well, some people need to die, but let's not get into that.
And somehow, Matt Trudel, if you're reading this, I'm sorry for putting you through so much SHIT. Even though you put me through some great depressions yourself. Whatever. I'm not gonna argue with you anymore. I'm tired of trying to be your friend and then just have you reject me coz of your new girlfriend. So, maybe I'll see you around... Until the next time, Ciao.
Well, I think I'm gonna go have lucky charms, blow dry my hair and straighten it, and then get dressed. My friend's comming over soon.
--Vicious
P.S.-I learned "Movin' On" by Good Charlotte on guitar last night between like 12-3. Somwhere between that. I'm not good at it yet, but I'm not good at guitar either. Whatever LoL. And I learned more of that song by From Autumn to Ashes.
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| Fuck you. |
[30 Dec 2003|02:08am] |
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Fuck you. I've had enough bullshit from everyone. This sucks ass. BAH FUCK IT! I'm exhausted. I'm tired of trying for everything and nothing ever works out as planned. I'm tired of my dad thinking he knows me and trying to make comments. I'm sick of all the bullshit. I need to release my pain, Goddamnit.
-Vicious
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